I'm Scared

We mostly worship in the morning these days. So in the early evening in the deep midwinter of Michigan the sun does not shine through the stained glass windows and the sanctuary looks dim. The parishioners shuffle in a column to the front where two pastors stand holding small bowls. The clergy dip a finger in water then in ash to draw a cross on each forehead, softly naming each person and murmuring, “consider yourself dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.” It is a somber service.

As the line slowly moves forward, I follow a young child, probably experiencing this ritual for the first time. They strain to see around the many legs blocking their view to peek at what’s happening up there, then whisper “I’m scared.” Mother quietly reassures. I can barely hear her say, “It’s going to be okay.” 

There it is, in that short and simple exchange. This is Lent. We are called to consider the stinking morass of our sin, our inevitable return to dust, and our inability to change those things. It is more than dark, it is terrifying.

And yet –

It is going to be okay. There is power beyond our own. The power of sacrificial love that restores us to relationship with God, executed for us on the cross. The power over death, waiting for us at Easter.

“O my God, relying on your infinite mercy and promises, I hope to obtain pardon of my sins, the help of your grace, and life everlasting, through the merits of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Redeemer. Amen.”

Act of Hope, a traditional Catholic prayer

– Reflection by an anonymous Calvin Church member